


Lie Back and Think of Thessia

by MissMokushiroku



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Awkward Sexual Situations, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Mass Effect Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-15 00:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMokushiroku/pseuds/MissMokushiroku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard loves Liara, and Liara loves Shepard, but Liara thinks Shepard's definition of "love" may very well differ from hers. A rather non-kinky piece I wrote a while back for an ace!asari masseffectkink prompt, which I interpreted as ace!Liara. Set during ME1, pre-Virmire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lie Back and Think of Thessia

Liara stared intently at her monitor. Despite the fact that being on the _Normandy_ meant she couldn't go to dig sites like she had before, she still enjoyed checking up on the latest news and discoveries from the archaeological world—especially those related to the Protheans. At the moment, she was examining an article of speculations on child-rearing in Prothean society. She smiled slightly when she noticed that the author had cited some of her earlier work. (That's academia for you.)

  
She was glad that she was able to stay in the alcove behind the medbay. It was quiet—at least until Wrex inevitably got injured and he had to be patched up—and one of the least-accessed parts of the ship. Combined with her general awkwardness and nervousness around people, that meant Liara had few visitors.

  
Visitors who weren't Shepard, anyway.

  
 _Shepard_. Were it not for her, Liara would still consider herself bonded to her studies. When it came to her, she just couldn't believe her luck. Shepard was such a strong, capable woman; someone whom Liara thought wouldn't give a shy, socially awkward archaeologist—even an asari—a second look.

  
But Shepard talked to her, tried to get to know her, tried to understand her and her culture; they would talk to each other, one-on-one, for far longer than they really should, and Liara always felt a twinge of sadness whenever Shepard had to leave. Even when she embarrassed herself—like the time she accidentally implied that human males were mutants; now _that_ was a story—she came out feeling all the much happier just to have spoken to her.

* * *

When Liara told Shepard that she believed they might have something between them, she began to regret it before she had even finished her sentence. _You're being stupid, Liara_ , she thought, _why would a woman like Shepard want someone like you?_

  
Liara braced herself for rejection, and was surprised when she didn't get it.

  
“I care about you, Liara.” There was a sentence she never expected to hear from Shepard. She took her hands in hers and continued, “And I'm glad you feel the same.” They talked for a while longer, until Joker popped on the intercom to tell Shepard that Admiral Hackett was calling her. (“I swear, I think he does that on purpose.”)

  
As they said their goodbyes and Shepard walked out of the room, Liara's heart sunk into her chest. She realized at that moment that, sooner or later, Shepard was going to ask her for something she couldn't give.  
And she didn't know how she could deal with that.

  
“Goddess, what have I gotten myself into?”

* * *

Liara furrowed her brow and sighed, closing the document she had half-finished reading. She couldn't concentrate on academia when she was thinking about Shepard. Whether out of anticipation or dread, she didn't know. Maybe it was both.

  
They had kissed for the first time earlier that day, and Liara mentioned that she was...inexperienced, to put it mildly, in both romantic and sexual matters. Shepard had chuckled softly and said, “Don't worry. Everyone's gotta have a first time. I'll try not to be too rough on you, okay?” She smiled mischievously.

  
Liara was almost comforted.

  
She enjoyed the kiss, at least, as it had started off slow and gradually became deeper and more intense. Liara almost lost herself in the moment—until Shepard's hands started feeling at the skin underneath her shirt, and Liara suddenly felt very, very scared.

  
Luckily enough for her, Joker had inadvertently chosen the perfect moment to inform Shepard of two of the crew fighting in the mess hall.

  
“Fine, I'll take care of it,” she told him. As she left, Liara heard her mutter “Goddammit!” under her breath.

  
“Thank the Goddess,” Liara said to herself, once she knew Shepard couldn't hear her. She didn't know what she would have hated more: being groped, or having to tell Shepard that she was just...not interested.  
She knew better than to think that she would never have to make the choice.

* * *

Shepard sauntered into Liara's room with a devilish smile. “Now, where were we?”

  
“We were...kissing, as I recall.”

  
“'Making out' is more like it.” Liara didn't recognize the term, and it showed on her face. “Oh. That's what, uh, humans call deep kissing like that. It's a slang term. Anyway. As _I_ recall, we were starting to get a bit farther than just kissing, no?”

  
“Yes...I suppose we were.” As Shepard placed her hands on Liara's waist and gently tugged at the zipper on her shirt, Liara panicked. She wasn't ready for this. She didn't know if she'd ever be ready.

  
“No!—I mean, I'm—I just remembered that I have to go. Somewhere.” It was a bad lie even by Liara's standards—and, when it came to lying, Liara had _very_ low standards. But before Shepard could respond, Liara was already halfway to the door. “I'll speak with you later, Shepard.”

  
Liara wasn't sure if she was telling the truth.

  
Shepard watched Liara's figure disappear behind the door as it slid close.

* * *

Shepard waited a couple minutes before going after Liara. On her way out of the medbay, she passed by Dr. Chakwas, sipping at a mug of coffee while examining some medical records. She put her drink down and turned to face Shepard, clearly worried.

  
“Commander? Is Liara alright? She looked...upset.”

  
“I don't know. That's what I'd like to find out. Do you know where she went?”

  
“I'm afraid not.”

  
“Oh. Okay. Thanks anyway, Doc.”

  
“Before you leave, Commander, I'd like to give you a word of advice: be careful with her, Shepard. Just because you're ready doesn't mean she is.”

  
“I...of course. Thank you, Doctor.” Shepard smirked slightly. “Are you speaking from personal experience here?”

  
Dr. Chakwas picked up the datapad she had been examining and went back to her medical records. “Goodbye, Commander.”

  
Shepard shrugged and left, and it wasn't until the medbay door closed behind her that she realized how odd it was that Chakwas knew about her relationship with Liara.

  
Word travels fast on the SSV _Normandy_.

* * *

“Liara? Are you alright? Do you want to talk?”

  
Liara hadn't traveled far—Shepard found her sitting in the mess hall, face in her hands.

  
“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

  
No answer.

  
“I'm sorry, Liara. If that means anything. I didn't mean to—“

  
“Shepard...I'm sorry.”

  
“ _You're_ sorry? For what? Unless you're the one who managed to stuff the giant teddy bear into my weapons locker last week—and I think it's reasonable to assume that you're not—you've got nothing to apologize for.”

  
Liara smiled briefly at the mention of the Teddy Bear Incident. If Shepard ever found out who had done it, Tali would never hear the end of her ranting.

  
Still, it wasn't enough to dispel Liara's acute sense of shame over what had transpired between them.

  
“I...couldn't give you what you wanted from me.”

  
“What I wanted? I don't want anything from you, Liara. I just want you.”

  
“That's what I meant, Shepard.”

  
“What? I don't understand.”

  
“Neither do I.” Liara abruptly stood up and began to move back to her room. “I...think I need to be alone right now.”

  
“Liara, wait!” She looked over her shoulder towards Shepard. “I love you. Don't forget that.”

  
“...thank you, Shepard.”

* * *

_Goddess, what am I doing?_

  
Liara sat on Shepard's bed, fumbling with one of her shirt sleeves. At that moment, she would have much rather been in battle, throwing geth around with her mind. It would certainly be less stressful.

  
 _But I don't have anyone but myself to blame for this._ She had told Shepard that she was ready, that she wanted this, that she wanted Shepard in every way. And, for a while, Liara almost believed herself.

  
The door slid open and Shepard sauntered in, briefly turning around to input the door-lock code—Liara thanked the Goddess that at least, if she were to make a fool of herself, there was no chance of anybody else to see it.

  
“I'm sorry; that took longer than I expected. If it's not one thing, it's another. Go figure.” Shepard looked at Liara with a mildly predatory look on her face—one that matched her next tone of voice. “Now, where should we begin...?”

  
There was an awkward silence.

  
“Perhaps we should take our clothes off.” Liara was rarely blunt; it took Shepard a bit by surprise.

  
“Uh...yes, I suppose we should.”

  
Sexy.

  
Shepard sat on the bed next to Liara, put her arm around her shoulder, and gave her a small kiss on the cheek before eagerly pulling at Liara's shirt zipper, exposing her breasts before she even had time to feel uncomfortable, then pushing her down onto the bed and straddling her. Liara finished the job, so to speak, leaving her nude from the waist down, as Shepard herself pulled off her own shirt.

  
Shepard bent down over Liara and began to kiss her passionately. This part Liara enjoyed, but she couldn't help but notice that Shepard was still wearing her lacy red—what was it called? A brassiere? Liara couldn't remember— _article of clothing_. She deduced that the next logical course of action would be to take it off for her.

  
Or, at least, to attempt to. She wrapped her arms around her lover's torso—how odd, Liara thought, that they could be considered lovers—and her fingers grasped fruitlessly at the clasps at her back. Why would humans design such a counter-intuitive device? She had something to ponder later.

  
Shepard noticed Liara trying to remove her bra, and Liara could feel her smirk. She pulled herself away from Liara just enough so that nearly anyone else in her position would be incredibly tempted—but, unfortunately for her, Liara wasn't “nearly anyone else.”

  
Still, Shepard persevered, God bless her. “So, you want to go a bit...lower?” she teased. “I can do lower.” She moved her hands behind her back and effortlessly unclasped the device which had been giving Liara so much trouble—like magic, almost, Liara thought—and casually tossed it across the room.

  
Liara awkwardly grasped Shepard's breasts. One would think that having breasts herself would mean that she had a clue of what to do with them—unfortunately, not so much. Noting her lack of experience, Shepard went back to their tried-and-true method of neck kissing, but this time spicing it up by massaging her breasts and rubbing her nipples. She hoped that this might spur Liara into action.

  
But Liara felt nothing. No, not literally. She felt the sensation of having her nipples rubbed, and she had to admit that it wasn't entirely _unpleasant_ , but...she couldn't look Shepard in the eyes, as much as she wanted to. That would be a tacit affirmation of what Liara was trying to avoid admitting: as much as she loved her, Liara looked at Shepard and felt no differently than when she looked at Lieutenant Alenko, Chief Williams, Garrus, Tali, Wrex, or anyone else on the _Normandy_ —people whom Liara was most definitely _not_ in love with. She wondered if, maybe, she wasn't really in love...

  
Still, Liara was stiff as a board, looking past Shepard's face and staring at the ceiling. Shepard wanted to loosen her up somehow and tried the only way she could think of that didn't involve alcohol.  
“Would you like to try even _lower_?”

  
Liara nodded weakly. Shepard's right hand moved slowly down Liara's stomach, reached into her pants, and began to...

  
“No! Please—I'm sorry, but— _please_ —wait—stop.” Liara pushed Shepard off of her body and quickly got out of bed, walking across the room and leaning forward on Shepard's desk, head bowed. She couldn't look at her.

  
_Goddess, this was a terrible idea._

* * *

“Liara? What's wrong? Did something hurt?” Shepard internally chastised herself for not listening to the doctor's advice.

  
“No...no, nothing hurt. It's fine.”

  
“It's not fine.”

  
“No, it is not.”

  
“Right. So what's wrong?” Shepard rose up and stood behind Liara, leaning on her shoulders.

  
“I...love you, Shepard.”

  
“I fail to see how that's a problem.”

  
“I love you. I think you need to know that. I am sorry for what happened, but...I love you, Shepard. I'm sorry I can't do this. I love you, though. And...I want you to be happy, because I love you. I lov—“

  
“Okay, Liara. I get it. You love me. Now stop it, you're sounding like a broken record.”

  
“A what?”

  
“It's an old human thing. Don't worry about it.” Shepard casually wrapped her arms around Liara's neck. “Although I think I'm the one who should be apologizing to you here. I'm not as good of a girlfriend as I like to think I am.” She said it playfully, but it was a sincere confession, with a small twinge of regret. “So let's start over. What do you want to do right now? We've still got a few free hours so long as another fight doesn't break out. And even then I can probably just tell Williams to take care of it—she's good at that. But please be honest with me. For both our sakes.”

  
“What _I_ want? Hmm...” Liara gently pushed Shepard's arms off of her shoulders, then lightly took one of her hands and led her back to the bed. “I didn't even think about that, to be honest. But I have an idea I think you might like, if you don't mind.”

  
“Not at all.”

* * *

It took a few minutes for Shepard and Liara to find just the right position, but when they did—it was worth it.

 

The duo laid next to each other, Shepard's arms embracing Liara's waist and her head snuggled on her neck, Liara tenderly holding Shepard's hands.

  
“Yeah...I think I can get used to this. You had a great idea.” Shepard kissed Liara's cheek.

  
“Thank you. I was not sure that you would approve.”

  
“I approve very much. I really wish you'd told me before.”

  
“So do I.”

  
Shepard whispered into Liara's ear. “By the way...I love you too.”

  
“I know.” Liara grasped Shepard's hands and held them gingerly. “Can we...not do that again?”

  
“Deal.”


End file.
